Here’s the deal: For this week, at least, I am going to provide you with 5 players to start and 5 players to sit, based solely on my current fantasy football rosters. Don’t blame me for not being diverse: It’s Week 1 and it’s been a hell of a week. Oh, yeah, and I’m going to avoid the obvious “Start Aaron Rogers,” type shit; you know he’s good, so, unless you’re pitiful and need more affirmation than a needy ass toddler, I’ll stick to the grey-area players…
1. T. Owens- Yeah, I said “T. Owens” because I don’t feel like looking up how to spell his slightly odd name– whatever. That still doesn’t change the fact that he is one of the top 10 receivers ever to play and that he is playing against an inexperience –though vaunted– secondary. Look for T.O. to get 80 yds and a TD, which is more than enough to qualify as a starter.
2. Braylon Edwards- This is a pure gut move. I gambled (read: reached) on him far too early in one of my drafts, but that’s because he is a manchild. If he can be more man than child this season, he is going to be a beast on the field. Baltimore is good but overrated, especially without the ball-hawking Ed Reed (also overrated. seriously, how hard is it to sit back –way back– in the secondary, picking off errant passes every so often?!). If he doesn’t have I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter hands for this one, he’ll be fine.
3. Fred Jackson- Spiller was just nominated to the position of No. 1 RB. So what. Everyone knows that the NFL is a two back league now, except for some standout exceptions. I expect for Jackson to milk 3rd downs and the goal-line like they were prized heifers, compiling 60 yds and 2 TDs along the way.
4. Robbie Gould- Unless you’re a fucking dummy, you didn’t draft two kickers this year. That said, Gould is a surefire winner this year, and it starts with this game. I project he’ll get somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 XPs and 2 FGs.
5. Portis- Shanahan is a genius, and his presence in DC is going to revitalize this beleaguered back. Portis has been the only stable factor amongst a carousel of coaches and QBs, so it’s no wonder the organization ran him into the ground. Be that as it may, expect him to get about 60 YDs rushing, 20 YDs through the air, and 1 electrifying, youth inspiring TD.
1. Reggie Bush- What’s done is done, so if you did or didn’t have him in, that’s history. For my part, though I own him in two leagues, I sat him in both. Yes, he will be incredible this year, diversifying his skill-set and proving his relevancy once again, but, this was a bad matchup for him from the words “2010 NFL Schedule”. I hope you sat his zig-zagging ass like I did.
2. Eddie Royal- I don’t feel much like pontificating anymore, so I’ll keep it simple: Orton is his QB. The Jags are bad, yet again, but that doesn’t matter. Royal hits his stride mid-season, so, if you have other options, start them.
3. Mike Wallace- He is a darling pick this year, but that doesn’t mean much without Big Ben passing to him. Hixon is good and will make a good starting QB one day, but it won’t be on the first Sunday of the NFL schedule. Expect mediocrity and the chance to buy Wallace dirt cheap through Weeks 1-4.
4. Santonio Holmes- This is so obvious, it pains me to write it. For some reason, though, he is still being started in 4% of Yahoo! leagues. People, please, for the love of God: Holmes won’t even be allowed to see the field until Week 4. Calm the fuck down and read the sports section, for Christ sake.
5. Tashard Choice- If you have a deep league and have some sort of voodoo mystical power by which you can summon injury to the injury prone (yet deep) Cowboys backfield, then be my guest: Start Choice. But, if you are a normal ass, blue collar football fan, for the love of everything holy and sexy in this world, sit Choice. He will get some carries and some catches, but he won’t see legit playing time until one of the Cowboys’ glam backs gets injured……. in Week 2.