Jordan’s Start ‘Em & Sit ‘Em

Brevity is the soul of wit. It’s also the soul of this post. I’m over my head in PBR, origami, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall– that Jason Segel is so goddamn funny. Seriously. And it’s 3:30pm. Seriously.

Here’s what you need to know.


Kevin Walter: Can you say beast mode? Okay. That was too obvious. He’s only 2 receptions and 20-odd yards short of Andre Johnson. He’s comparable to my man, Welker, only he hasn’t fucked his knee up six ways from Sunday, and is on a team that relies on being offensively awesome. Which is funny. At any rate, he is a definite start this week, especially since he’s playing the pass-happy, defense-shy Cowboys. A Texas-sized shootout is in store for this game, with only you to be the beneficiary.

Mark Clayton: As far as St. Louis’s season goes, it’s FUBAR. But……. he is the only consistent receiver on a team that is always coming from behind. Pun intended. Clayton is sure handed and is playing for a team that is investing heavily in its pre-pubescent passing game. His quarterback is not going to put up good number, but Clayton certainly will. Don’t worry: He’s good for at least 10pts, in a normal scoring league. Unless he gets injured, which I can’t possibly predict. Sorry.

Now that I’ve had some more Segel and PBR face time, here’s my Sit ‘Em:

Jerome Harrison: He’s on a bad relationship with an organization that likes him only just enough to pacify him, but not enough to make him feel loved. That’s like a lot of relationships I know, and is a reason you shouldn’t go with him. Sure, they might make him feel good this week by getting handsy with him, but no matter how much he pisses and moans and groans, the Browns are content to suck– at the relationship side of things, not the intimate side of things.

Mike Wallace: I love this young stud and think that he’s going to be a star in the mold of DeSean Jackson. That’s a good thing, right? Well…. not if your quarterback is confused all the time. Seriously. Sorry kids, but if you bought into the Wallace thing, save him for later. Who knows, maybe he’s like a wine or something, waiting for Big Ben to uncork his abilities.

RANDOM TIP: If you want your favorite team to win this week, go to church. It worked for Andrew for an entire season of the Cowboys.




Filed under Start 'Em & Sit 'Em

20 responses to “Jordan’s Start ‘Em & Sit ‘Em

  1. dan

    Hey should I start Eli Manning or Darren Sproles as my flex player in a ppr league?

    • you posted this on Jordan’s Start’em Sit’em, but i just want to make sure you get an answer from godhateslosers before gametime.

      I say that if your flex includes a QB, go with the QB. Manning gets my vote.


  2. peoplespigskin

    So are you saying Andrew has renounced his belief in God this season?


  3. FF fem

    Need TE help…
    I temporarily have 3 TE’s on roster this week: Gonzo, Hernandez and Carlson. Who to start? I have been starting Gonzo, and he is rated higher than the others by everyone, but Gonzo has done nothing in the first 2 games.

    • I’m not Jordan, but I just wanted to get you some advice before kickoff if jordan is unable (to be read ‘lazy’)

      hernandez has almost 150 yards in 2 games. gonzo is just over 50. carlson has 85.

      I like the upside of hernandez. and he has the potential to get a lot of targets against the bills.


  4. joe esposito

    hakeem nicks or brandon marshall??

    arizona def or philly def??

    thanks 4 the advice!

    • Again, i’m not jordan. But its pretty much universally accepted that i’m superior.

      I like brandon marshall against a revis-less jets defense (read it in my start’em sit’em post)

      and I’d take philly’s defense over arizona.


  5. MIke


    D.Thomas, Fred Taylor or Buckhalter????

    NE doesnt run much compared to thru the air
    THomas competeing with Gaffney
    BUckhalter taking morenos place

  6. shaun

    Got a couple for you-
    Need 2 please:
    LeSean McCoy
    Rashard Mendenhall
    Clinton Portis
    Pierre Thomas?
    Need a WR 3:
    Legedu Naanee
    Demaryius Thomas
    Mark Clayton
    Michael Crabtree
    Thanks in advance for your help!

    • 7 comments shaun? hot damn.

      McCoy, Mendenhall should statistically be your starters. Portis and Thomas will have good games too.
      WR 3 this week, I’ve got Clayton highest on my boards.

      I would suggest trying to trade one of your RBs for a better WR3 option. I think Portis could go for someone in the range of SimsWalker, Knox, or Driver.
      Thomas could get you someone even higher, like Ochocinco, Floyd, Boldin, or S. Moss.
      Just a thought.


  7. shaun

    Oh almost forgot-
    Brent Celek
    Dustin Keller?
    Thanks again!

  8. shaun

    Looking to add a little depth at WR-
    Who do you like better?
    Legedu Naanee or
    Demaryius Thomas

  9. Sox

    Hey guys. Thanks for all the roster tips. Shipley or mike Thomas for wr3? Had to bench Garcon. Best wr free agents available are berrian, Lloyd, amendola

    • Picking between Shipley and Thomas isnt exactly something any fantasy owner wants to do. That being said, between the 2, I’d pick Thomas. Berrian is the best WR on your FA list, but i dont think its worth it. Lloyd is statistically the best WR on the Broncos, but I dont trust him yet.

  10. Chris

    Hi, I asked the same question last week and you were dead on. So again, do I start Brady or Vick this week? Thanks for last weeks advice!

    • I say vick again. Washington can get thrown on a ton. and he has to prove that getting rid of mcnabb was a good choice on the eagles part. look for some fireworks in this game. Brady has a good matchup. and will score some points. I just think vick gets more.. again.


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